Once when I was young a friend was encouraging me to ask out a girl I had a crush on. I was worried that she would reject me and that fear paralyzed me. He used a metaphor to frame the situation. When you go to a swimming pool and the water is cold, its hard to stick just a toe in and become acclimated to the water temperature in stages. I have tried this and it is not fun. First you stand on the steps and slowly allow the water to inch its way up to your knees. Then with concerted hyperventilation you can move painfully through that awkward part where the cold water is just lapping your upper thighs, before finally sighing with relief as you move forward and hit the high-water mark of the kiddie section - the rib cage and nipples. From here you can splash water on your face to prepare further, but in the end you still need to dunk you head under in order to enjoy the rest of your time at the pool.
Jumping in from the start is just easier. It's simple and obvious - if you know you are going to do something difficult or scary eventually, just do it already. But as many times as I've followed that advice and enjoyed great results, the water still looks really cold.
I've wanted to write a blog for a long time. Now with an upcoming trip to Tunisia, a blog seems like the perfect way to keep in touch with friends and family. I also want to develop a regular writing habit and practice writing when I actually have something interesting to talk about. But every time I start typing, I find an excuse for why this isn't the right time to start. I'm intimidated.
It's not that I don't think I am a good writer. I wrote a lot in grade school, and I won praise and awards from a number of teachers. In college, too, my papers were well received and I am still happy with the clarity of thought and simplicity of language I demonstrated. I also read constantly, so I feel I have a good grasp of different styles and a strong vocabulary. To put it elegantly: I have many leather-bound books and my apartment smells of rich mahogany.
Still, I worry that my writing isn't what it used to be. I've spent the last two and a half years of my life doing business writing, which is to say I haven't written in a while. First of all, you need to know what you are saying to write it well, and most of what I've been saying has been bullshit. Anytime four different people are writing and editing a piece under a tight deadline and most if not all of them have no idea about the content of the article, the result is going be ugly. Add to that considerations of word choice due to political correctness, a style guide based on fiat rather than reason, and an editor who would rather tell me I've used a word incorrectly than taking the time to look up its meaning. It really hit me one day a few months ago when a friend was laughing at a piece our office had published and, after mocking it myself, I realized I had written it. Sometimes we allow our writing to conform to the meter of industrial buzzwords because it is easy and it sounds right. But I'm tired of assembling prefabricated hen-houses.
So, this blog is my chance to start fresh. I'm worried that my writing will sound contrived or my diction will appear pretentious, but I also know the only way to overcome that is to keep writing until I find a more natural and easy voice. Thank you for taking the time to read my blog and support me as I jump into what I hope will be a great adventure. I hope there are no rocks beneath the surface.
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